Talbennyhall’s Weblog

Following my last miserable missive, I feel I should let you all know that life here in Talbenny can be very rewarding! Look at the weather we are currently enjoying; wall to wall sunshine and it’s still only mid March, Daf’s are blooming and so are the flowers! The great Welsh wall builder; PJ (that’s not to say that there is a Great Wall of Wales, just that there is a builder of walls who’s quite good at building walls and he is Welsh) anyway he’s just finished building us another load of wall, with a little help from his young apprentice, who is six foot five inches tall and knocking on forty……..kids!!!!!!!!! Visitors to the cottages are going to be thrilled when they see the architectural delight created, or else!

Part of the the new landscaping scheme has required a load of gravel. Have you ever tried to assess how much you need to cover a certain area. I didn’t need to measure , I’m far too experienced and can do it by eye? So I had 16 tons delivered! ……. Anyone want 6 tons of gravel surplus to requirement? It would help us to park our cars on the drive!

Another happy note, the fish are back in our lake.  No they haven’t been away on holiday, it’s just that we had about 1000 fish until about 2 years ago when an otter turned up and thought he’d found his equivalent of Ceri’s cafe in the village, and scoffed the lot (we thought )  Obviously when he was down to having to chase the last few tiddlers he was off to pastures (or ponds) new.  Well the good news is that those few tiddlers are now growing up and doing what lady and gentlemen fish do in the privacy of there own lake, and having more tiddlers!

So there you are life ain’t so bad here in Talbenny, lets hope that things are even better next Saturday evening………………..COME ON WALES

They’re at it again, those nameless, faceless grey people who have decided that ‘they’ know what’s best for us mere mortals.  Just as I’ve trained my little body to accept the occasional glass or two of red wine (‘they’ said I would live longer and healthier!) ’they’ now say it will kill us.  The Scots, who are not known for any particular alcohol over- indulgence, nor even have any national related alcoholic beverage to boast of, are now having an extra tax imposed to deter them from buying too much booze. Britain already has the highest tax on alcohol in the Universe and beyond, so what’s that going to do, fund the ever growing ‘Department for the Prevention of  Playing Conkers without full body armour’?

Now I don’t smoke and I don’t want to, but tobacco is a huge source of tax revenue. So when ‘they’ decide that you can’t smoke in the privacy of your own carzey because of the smell, from where are ‘they’ going to finance that ever expanding organisation of ‘Language and Culture control’ a tax on the freedom of speech?…………..HEAVY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I know it’s nothing new but, everywhere you go people are hugging those strange water bottles. The ones that no water comes out unless you are a fitness fanatic, and wear joggers, angry trainers? pouffy head bands, and even little ones round your wrists.  You’ve seen these freaks, holding the front of their ankle and trying to wedge their heel up their bums. Is that before or after they’ve belted their heart rate up to where it’s trying to escape through their ears? Of course there’s no chance of that as they inevitably have one of those blackberry bushes stuffed there! Then there’s that colour, is purple the new sun tan? I prefer the golden brown I achieve here in Talbenny during a normal summer. What about all that wobbling about after a few minutes on those moving pavements. You don’t see that at the airports. I thought they were supposed to make walking easier not dangerous!  It’s all very strange.  Yes you’ve guessed it I’ve joined a gym!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Well the ‘bumhug’ season is nearly over, thank goodness! The last cottage guests are about to make their final liver onslaught of 2008 and no doubt so will we.  All this celebration;  Christmas, New Year, all the parties leading up to and then during, and for some wind down parties or burn the christmas tree bash. When is all this going on? at the most plague ridden, snotty time of the year, that’s when! If you’re not ill you soon will be;  ‘Oooooh give us a kiss, it’s Christmas, you won’t catch my cold I’m past the contagious stage  -  Aaaaatchooo!!!!!! – Oh let me wipe that off your shirt’  Charming!!!  Inevitably you will have been to someone’s house over the Christmas period and eaten something they’ve prepared whilst they were suffering from a wide range of miserable winter diseases, anxious that you should share their coughing, and phlegmy discomfort; ‘Obe doobe ab adubber mindse bie, I mabe dem byselbe’  The best of course is when virtually everyone has gone down with this mysteriously rampant illness, and we’re all lying about wrapped in sweaters, scarves and blankets in front of big roaring fires feeling sorry for ourselves, and drinking Lemsips by the gallon and chewing aspirins or paracetamol by the box, when the only one who has not had, or has recovered from this near death ailment, bounces in and says something like; ‘Come on you lazy gits, it’s a lovely, fresh and sunny day let’s go for a walk on Marloes beach’  What an absolute prat(e)!!!!!!!!!!!! 

Oh yes, Happy New Year!

I know you’re supposed to keep your blog up to date, but I’ve not felt the need to get upset about anything lately, no rants in the offing at all, and anyway I’ve been busy decorating……. Now there’s a rant in the making if ever there was one, but I haven’t really the time to go off on one at the moment, what with Christmas just round the corner UH OH! careful…… Well according to TV advertising Christmas starts around mid July…. There’s another, TV advertising, and most other product advertising whatever the media! All that stuff to make you burp, fart and be regular, and not suffer from constipation, it’s a wonder that they don’t offer free heated toilet seats with all those aides de toilet? It’s not just advertising though, what about this recession? Perhaps if we weren’t told about it so much on the TV and radio and in the news papers, it just might not be so bad. Only this morning we hear that M & S are having a 20% off sale. The newscaster then tells us that we won’t want to go to this sale because with the chance of deflation things may be cheaper next year anyway!  ‘May be cheaper’ That’s not news, that’s speculation!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  ‘Here’s the 9 o’clock Speculation’ on the BBC. I can’t go on

So has anything really bothered me since I last blogged or even ranted, no I don’t think so, but rest assured if anything should get up my nose you’ll be the first to hear it!

Hello I’m back, have you missed me? We’ve spent the last month in Lesvos, and it was great, but I’m not going to regale you with the delights of the island, more have a little rant about the use of the English language, not by the Greeks I hasten to add, even the one who works in a family taverna on the harbour in Molivos and who went to great lengths to explain to me the various nuances of the English language which makes it a difficult language to learn. I hadn’t a clue what he was talking about!
Whilst we were away we met a very friendly American couple, who in their delightfully quaint and colonial way engaged us numerous conversations (over various meals) and as a consequence will probably, to quote them; ‘write you’ Why after the undoubtably pleasant experience of meeting Daphne and me would they want to go around writing ‘you’ everywhere? another is; ‘How are you?’ answer ‘Good’ At what; being good, singing, brain surgery? What about ‘Have a nice day’ instead of ‘Goodbye’ What’s that all about?
I could take you on a journey of many other strange and mysterious uses of the language, and not just by these colonial types either, but what’s the point as there are more of them than there are of us, so whose language is it anyway? Not moin our kid cuz oi’me from Brummijum. Tarrar a bit.

Here we go, another giant leap for mankind; digital radios. You can now switch on your radio in the kitchen and receive the most extraordinary interference, just as if you were having a picnic on the moon and chatting to mission control at Houston. In other words, not understand a single word spoken, or recognise a song sung, which in some cases could be a good thing as Radio 2 is now sounding more like Radio 1. Does all that sound confusing? Well I am. New technology is supposed to give us cheaper and better err, things and stuff.
My digital radio not only looks retro design but sounds so retro that it might just as well be a crystal set! Every time the fridge is opened or someone moves within a metre of it, Terry Wogan disappears into the ether (is this a bad thing? well yes as it is not selective and will even destroy ‘ask Elvis’ on the Steve Wright show!!)
Then we have the digital TV, marvellous! as long as you have a screen which fills the living room wall, because anything smaller won’t pick up the digital signal for half the stations, so when you switch channels to get back to terrestrial TV you have to decypher the varied and confusing symbols on the remote, because they are all different on every one of them, and by which time you’ve missed the crucial bit in ‘The Bill’ which means you don’t know what’s going on for the next 10 episodes!
Please bring back short, medium and long wave and FM for radio and terrestial TV, or just crystal sets, BBC1 and 2, plus ITV and to hell with progress.

If there’s one thing that is so irritating and that’s the constant blathering on about the weather! Yes I know it’s rained every day since July 2007 and global warming is responsible for Team GB winning 19 gold medals at the Olympics. This year’s grain crop is so wet that your wheaty bangs won’t need any milk on them at breakfast, and the temperature has dropped so low that snow ploughs and gritting lorries are lining up on the motorway slip roads in preparation for the homeward August bank holiday traffic. The weather forecasters are in seventh heaven because they have nothing to report other than constant misery, what bliss! (for them) Obviously they occasionally have to report that the sun may be seen for a few minutes on the south face of Ben Nevis at 6.45am. but be quick as there is another cold and wet front following. Such joy! (for them) That’s another thing, weather forecasting must be the only job (I hesitate to call it a profession!) where you can get everything absolutely wrong and still get a pay rise and promotion, and on telly!!!!! You know the forecast is going to be bad when they appear on the screen with big smiles on their faces. Look out for the glum face and book your last minute holiday with us at Talbenny cottages, it’s bound to be a good week! Best pack your wet weather gear though.

I could blather on all day on this subject, only I’ve got to stop now as the sun’s just come out. so I’ll sign off. No, wait a minute it’s started raining again. I give up!

I know this hasn’t been the best summer on record, and that it’s been advisable to be sensibly dressed for the weather, but socks?  OK hiking boots require comfortable socks to avoid any unwanted and painful blisters. Wellington boots demand them to prevent those embarrassing farty noises when you take the boots off. Paula Radcliffe seems to need those dreadful pop socks when she’s running around, but what’s with the sandals and socks, flip flops and socks and crocs and socks? What’s the point when the first puddle or rock pool you tread in, wet and uncomfortable feet. Do they then take the socks off? of course not because where do you put wet socks when you’re out and about, in your pocket?  the whole point of sandals, flip flops and crocs is that the water just runs out, and as soon as the sun shines your feet are all nice and dry ready for the next downpour. No wet socks or pockets Easy!  So when it comes to summer footwear like sandals etc. just remember; ‘No socks please we’re British’